Running away…


We have a cat that loves to run away. She has lived with me for 12 years now, and I have had many dreams in which she runs away. That dream breaks my heart each time. That dream breaks my heart because I love her so much and I know she is not able to fend for herself outside of my house (even if she thinks she could!) My house is the best place for her, yet, she keeps on trying to leave it. 

Now, I have a son who is two years old. I, of course, love him so much more than my cat. And because he is so dear to my heart, I now dream that sometimes I am separated from him. During the last two weeks, I have had two dreams during which I woke up crying. In the first dream, I was forced to leave him behind alone, by himself. I knew he couldn't take care of himself and that he would miss me, but I was forced by war circumstances to leave him, and I was crying my guts out. I woke up distressed and started to pray about all the parents who are forced to abandon their children for war or other circumstances. I also prayed for these children who are left on their own without a place to call home, a parent to call family. In my second dream, he actually ran away from me. I looked for him for a while and finally found him, I was relieved because I knew he was finally safe with me.

This morning, as I was thinking about these dreams, I pondered about how God must feel when we continuously try to run away from Him (on purpose or not fully aware of it.) I know His love is so much bigger, stronger, deeper, wider than my human love for my son and can’t start to imagine how He feels when I chose to run away from Him thinking that I know what is best for me. His heart must break when I think I can fend for myself in a world raging war against the core of my being, against the deepest parts of my soul. His Fatherly heart must hurt so much when I let myself be pulled away by circumstances, people, things, or emotions… away from His house, from His arms, from the safe place of His heart. I do not know if God cries, but Jesus did, and He is the perfect image and reflection of God the Father. So, I’ll infer that He does and picturing God crying makes me want to run back to Him.

Wherever you find yourself today and having had a glimpse of what it feels like to be away from a person I love, I beg you to consider that the Father misses you more than you could ever imagine. It doesn’t matter whether you are struggling with fear, rejection, depression, anxiety, pain, betrayal, unforgiveness, addiction, loneliness, physical illnesses, or you are just tired… His heart misses you, and He is looking for you. He knows that the safest place for you to be is in His arms, in His heart. He knows you can't fend for yourself out there. He knows He has paid the highest price of the cross for you to have a home in His heart. He knows He has come to the lowest place incarnating flesh for Him to live inside of your heart. You are no match for what's raging war against your very being, but He has done EVERYTHING for you to call Him home and for Him to call you His. He has wired you for victory; it runs in your blood; but this victory can only be won with the strongest warrior by your side, from His camp, with His blood. Run back to the warrior camp, today!