"JUST AS I HAVE LOVED YOU"
“Just as I have loved you”
John 13: 34-35
“I give you a new commandment: that you should love one another just as I have loved you, so you too should love one another. By this shall all men know that you are my disciples, if you love one another (if you keep on showing love among yourselves)”
I wrote this in prayer during a night where I was searching God for a Word from Him. A Word that would help me push through all the feelings I had towards my husband after he confessed 10 years of sexual brokenness since we had been married. This is what the Lord spoke to my heart:
He (Jesus) loved me. He loved me when I was still a sinner, running my own race with no regards for Him. He loved me when I finally decided to surrender to that love. He loved me when I gave my heart to Him.
He loves me when I still, daily, try to figure things out. He loves me in my walk through this life with my ups and downs, questions, doubts, and fears. He loves me when I try to make sense of it all. He loves me when I choose to partner with Him in my suffering or when I try to soothe humanly.
He loves me and waits for me to get this revelation: that He loves me. He, the one who gave it all. The one who died on the cross so instead of “I”, It would be “He”. He loves. He loves me unconditionally. He loves me and I can’t change that truth by my good or bad behavior, by my faith or doubts, by my pursuit of Him or my running away.
He loves me. ME. An Imperfect, worthless, insignificant creature prone to independence, sin, and wondering. But He loves me and because He does, I am made perfect, I have worth, and I am a wonderful creation getting the revelation that I depend upon His love, I am free, and I belong.
This is how He loves me and commands me to love others the same way; just as He loved me. I can only accomplish that “just as I loved you” if I truly receive His love as a revelation in my heart and spirit. I can’t love without being convinced of His love. I can’t give something I am unfamiliar with.
How can I love someone who hurt me if I haven’t received His love first and come to the revelation that I, too, have hurt Him? How can I love someone who betrayed me if I haven’t understood that I, too, have betrayed Him but He loved me still?
That’s how the world knows that I am the real stuff, that I walk the talk; when they see the love I have for others despite what these others have done to me. This is how the world sees that I am made from above, I am made from love, when my actions point to someone who is intrinsically different. Someone who loved so much that He surrendered and gave His life. That is how the world knows, when I give my life for others just as He loved me.